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| Conversationally Speaking : Tested New Ways to Increase Your Personal and Social Effectiveness | 
 enlarge | Author: Alan Garner
Publisher: McGraw-Hill
Category: Book
List Price: $16.95
Buy New: $8.49
You Save: $8.46 (50%)
Buy New/Used from $8.48
Avg. Customer Rating:  (38 reviews)
Sales Rank: 9286
Languages: English (Original Language), English (Unknown), English (Published)
Media: Paperback
Edition: 3rd
Number Of Items: 1
Pages: 216
Shipping Weight (lbs): 0.6
Dimensions (in): 8.2 x 5.4 x 0.6
ISBN: 1565656296
Dewey Decimal Number: 302.346
UPC: 746623014009
EAN: 9781565656291
ASIN: 1565656296
Publication Date: April 1, 1997
Availability: Usually ships in 1-2 business days
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| Customer Reviews:
 Very Good Basic Info March 3, 2006
32 out of 32 found this review helpful
I ordered this book about 3 months ago and, as recommended in chapter one, I've been reading a chapter at a time, then trying out the suggestions. So far, with very minor changes in my behavior, I've seen very positive results.
I think that to say this book is for wallflowers only is superior and misleading. (I don't know anyone who couldn't polish up their social act a bit.)
Inwardly I have anxiety relating to people, sometimes mild or moderate, sometimes severe, but outwardly people tell me I seem extremely friendly and at ease. I'm not a mute or stammering wallflower. And I'm finding the suggestions in this book useful and interesting.
I noticed that I was tending to monopolize conversations, partially I think as a nervous habit. I wanted to be a better listener. This book shows you how to ask the kind of questions that put people at ease and help them open up and share their most interesting stories. Also tips on body language, how to give compliments without triggering knee-jerk modest responses, and how the talk yourself through moments of self-doubt. All good, basic strategies. I feel secure knowing these techniques are based on statistical evidence and clinical study of how people react and behave.
Sometimes the sample dialogue is hockey; you have to dismiss the seemingly 50's style lingo and focus on the technique being illustrated (e.g. follow up a compliment with a related open-ended question). I think this book will help people who want to cultivate warm, comfortable relationships and feel more socially at ease and effective.
Not perfect, but definitely good January 25, 2005
23 out of 24 found this review helpful
I found this book very helpful, albeit not perfect. It is written in a somewhat academic, dry style, but once you get over that you will find the information is worthwhile. The book is short and has many facts and skills packed into it - so if you want to actually adopt or fully utilize the information, I think a good amount of independent reflection on the material is needed. One thing I enjoyed was that this book is based on actual research - not just one very sociable person's life experiences (which is the basis for other conversation books I have browsed through). Garner reveals many interesting insights into human nature, which are encouraging to the shy and socially awkward! Overall I would definitely recommend this book to someone who wants to learn how to speak more easily and warmly to others.
 Great Info! December 27, 2004
16 out of 19 found this review helpful
Althought most of the information seems common sense, if you actively try applying each one of the tenets in the book it works great. The book does a great job of breaking down the kinds of conversations and what to do in the different sitatuations. Definitely would recommend !!!
 For Complete Wallflowers Only October 8, 2003
325 out of 359 found this review helpful
I have a little trouble sometimes maintaining a conversation, and small talk really isn't my forte. I don't ordinarily buy self-help books, but I read the reviews of this one and I thought I'd give it a try. Well, the good news is that apparently I'm much more socially capable than I'd thought. The bad news, for me, is that this book has little to offer to anyone capable of even the most banal responses in social situations. Say, for example, that someone comes up to you at a party and happens to mention that they've just returned from France. Would you (a) ask what airline they took and whether they enjoyed the flight, (b) ask what parts of France they'd visited, (c) offer observations based on your own experience in France, (d) ask the person how, as an American, he or she was received in France given the recent international tensions between the two countries, or (e) offer up any one of a thousand other innocuous responses? According to Garner, you should ask the person "how did you manage to get hotel rooms over there?" or "in what way was the food there different from what we have here?" Well, you can probably imagine how much further the conversation is fated to go once your interlocutor realizes that he/she is talking to a complete ditz: "Well, I called and made a reservation." "It's, uh, French food." I can see these suggestions being of some help if your only other alternative was to stammer out some unintelligible response, or to say, "Ooh la la," or some such thing. Such examples are rife throughout the book, leading me to believe that it could only possibly help the most socially inept among us. Honestly, I'm not trying to be mean-spirited, and I can see how this book _might_ help someone who simply cannot think of a single thing to say. But even in that regard, Garner advances theories and then cuts them short without developing them. About five times I turned the page, expecting to continue reading whatever mildly interesting thesis Garner had put forth, only to find that the chapter had ended! The book is basically a powerpoint presentation for nerds. You're better off just having a little confidence in your own abilities.
GREAT BOOK! July 4, 2003
11 out of 39 found this review helpful
I'll keep it short. It's one of the best book I'd ever read. While reading it, my personality started to change, for the better. In the last few years, i'm changing the most right now. This book is good, it's great! READ IT!
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